The title is a condition I am not familiar with at all. When someone is depressed I think of them as crying or upset all the time and that is not me. I never feel like crying (well, some movies get to me) or get upset with people, ever. Now I’m beginning to think my lack of what I perceive to be will power or rather motivation may be depression and I think I know the cause. My inability to reach some goals (buying a house) because I am letting others hold me back. By inability I mean save for a down payment, save to retirement etc. and the person whom I am referring to would be Angie. No matter what I do or say she refuses to stop asking for money and when she does I always break down and give her what she wants. Hell, I spent my bonus paying off her car and stupid loans she had taken out. Saturday she was going to her nieces wedding and wanted a couple hundred to get a gift and gas. Two days later she say she needs 400.00 to pay her storage or they will sell everything. She did not need the 400.00 when she was asking for the 200.00? She does not know the difference between a need and want. Everything to her is want, want, want.. she spends that and then the need presents itself and she expects the money to be there and I give it.
Tuesday morning I had just that situation where. On Saturday I gave her 200.00 for a gift and then come Tuesday morning she is demanding the 400.00 which I gave to her. I also said she has given me no choice but to cut communication with her. I sent a rather lengthy text explaining the situation and that she is now done getting any money, at the end I told her it would be in her best interest to not respond to the text. I won’t turn off the phone because I have to pay for it anyway but if she continues to try to contact me I will have to block her phone number. I ended up taking an extra two days off work because of my frustration with her and I’m tired of it. I drank last weekend as well. Time for another reset and get things back together in my head.
Vitals
Resting Heart Rate: 69
Blood Pressure: 101/71
Weight: 234
None of these are that bad seeing as this weekend did not go as I had expected.
Time to get my head back into the game after all this mess with Angie. She had the audacity call, not mention money, actually have a nice conversation until Sunday night. Sends message “No questions, I need 320.00 by 2:00pm”. Well the hell with her.
I thought it was a good thing last year when Angie and I were getting back together after the total misunderstanding by us but I was wrong. During the last year I have spend over 20,000.00 keeping her afloat and just this last month I gave her over 8,000.00 to pay off the car I told her not to buy, her dads headstone and a dumb ass load she got from the crooks that call themselves ‘Cashnetusa.com’. When I paid this off I told her she can never ask for money again. Well a week later she asks if her son Andy can borrow 150.00 (He still owes me the 300.00 he ‘borrowed’). Next she wanted to have a BBQ since it has been a year since her dad passed. I figured ok I’ll let you do that and gave her 500.00 to get a BBQ then all the fixn’s to have a good time with friends and family. What she neglected to tell me was her car needs to be fixed and she needs money for that and her mom’s checking account is overdrawn again. I forgot, along with the 8,000.00 I also added 400.00 to bring her mothers account back to black. Now she is pissed at me because I think she was irresponsible by having a freaking BBQ when she knew she needed her car fixed. Yesterday she sent a message ‘begging’ me for 350.00 to help her out and she will never ask for money again. Well, no s…t she won’t be asking for money again. She will not be talking to me ever again.
On top of all this she had her phone replaced again (fourth time) and ATT keeps calling me to find out where their phone is she is to be sending back. If I have to pay for a freaking phone because she did not send the old one back there will be hell to pay.
Haven’t had much time to do anything but this crap for the last couple weeks.
Our company is migrating their SharePoint sites to the new (new to us) SharePoint Online. I was nominated by my supervisor to be the site owner for our group. I have been waiting for the testing to begin and have been a little anxious because I have never worked in SharePoint, designed any apps or organized pages. I purchased a ‘For Dummies’ book and after reading half a chapter I signed up for a single license of SharePoint Online. Doing this I will be able to experiment with different site designs and functions before I deploy to the team site. I get to create my own SharePoint site, learn new things and have fun all at the same time. As of last night my thoughts on the additional responsibilities went from anxious to very excited.
This is the last week of work prior to the Christmas break. I always have a lot of plans for the time I am off and I never get a chance to do any of them. This year will be different, I’ll finish the game, blender course in Udemy and start on my VR project with Unity and my apartment. Each of these should be very easy to complete and get started.
When it comes to Angie I am about fed up. I have spent a lot of money making sure she has a good Christmas and nothing I do is good enough. I am about to throw my hands into the air and give up on her. She said the divorce would happen in September, it is now December and I am pretty certain her last name is still Amsden. I pray everyday things will work out and I know God will answer my prayers as always but she is one of the most, if not the most frustrating person I know.
My family wants to have another get together at the cabin this year and need to know if I will be there. I received an email from Tyra Sunday needing an answer today. Because of that I really want to say no but I want to head out there.
I had told Angie I would make sure she had a good Christmas this year and I will. Angie’s idea of a good Christmas is having enough money to buy a bunch of presents for everyone. That is always been their families idea of good Holidays as a whole. If it is Christmas, lots of presents, if it is Easter, lots of presents… any holiday, their idea of a good time is presents. This flies in the face of everything I believe it but I told her she would have a good Christmas.
I’ll put a long story short. She spent 1,200.00 and was upset because she actually spent an extra 500.00 and I was pissed she did that. She doesn’t understand that if you don’t have the freaking money, don’t spend it. What she did was steal money from her mom, telling all of her family I would send it to her, spent it and then told me. To top it off she didn’t know why I was mad.
All of that, telling her I would make sure she had a good Christmas was predicated on the fact she would be divorced when Christmas came around. Well, I’m pretty sure she is not divorced at this time but she still spent the money and expected me to bail her out….
That is what I said, Angie sent me a message today that reads ‘We have to come up with the lawyer asap’. My thoughts are: ‘Who the heck is we’ and why. I am going to have nothing to do with her divorce. More to come when I find out more.
Angie called me last night to let me know what the kids wanted for Christmas and the items were reasonably prices. I guess with age come the wisdom regarding the cost of things you ask for… Nice to see them grow up. 🙂
I am doing really well at sticking to just one thing lately, not so go at sticking to my diet and exercise routine, better get that whip out.
This will not be to for young eyes. I helped Angie get a car earlier this year. Knowing full well she jumped the gun, did not have it checked out and fell for her crap, “I really want this car and will be really pissed if I don’t get it…” yada yada yada. Well she got it and what a lemon that turned out to be. Now she wants another and expects me to chip in 2000.00 for her loan.
Chip in for her loan, no now she wants me to sign for a loan so she can get a car. No way, I spent the better part of the last 8 years getting out of debt and establishing my credit. The next load I get will be for a house and I don’t want any credit cards/loans tied to me when I do. This will help my retirement as well.
I finished reviewing the book “Mastering Unity 2017 Game Development”. It is a fairly good book provided you are very familiar with Unity, the interface and most of the ins and outs. I think if you are just starting out this book could be quite difficult but for those who are more advanced and know Unity well and have a very good grasp of C# it is a handy book to have.
Angie is going to be moving in with her older brother rent free. Thank you Lord. I’ll go ahead and pay for her storage fees. That frees my bank account up to save for a house purchase and other necessities.
I told my sister this last weekend about buying a house and it started getting me excited. Now I have to decide, how big, town home or regular. Size of yard, two story or one etc.. A lot of decisions to be made along with trying to figure out some residual income during retirement. I’m looking at book writing, website creating/maintenance or some type of freelance programming. All these decisions need to be made within the next year. I’m looking at a year and a half time frame for the house purchase and another year for figuring out the retirement income. Retirement won’t be for another eight or nine years but I need to figure something out now.
We worked things out for the most part this last weekend. I gave her a little to live on this week and will pay her rent for the next month but after that she’s on her own.
New site covering miscellaneous activities including my favorite activity: Blender
