After I had my catheter put in and after the spasms in my urinary tract had subsided, I was fairly comfortable. The doctors were spending most of their time coming in monitoring my heart rate, blood pressure, taking blood work every morning.
After a couple of days I started eating, I don’t know why I wasn’t eating anything, I just wasn’t hungry, I think they were getting worried about that. Once I started eating one of the doctors commented, “you’ve got your appetite back” and that went on for a day or two with constant checkups which was just fine. I liked most of the doctors. Then the physical therapy started. Without warning they came in to start doing physical therapy and I was still weak as hell.
They were going to try and get me to sit up in bed. Just sit up, actually try and do that. I couldn’t do that. I was screaming and grunting so hard, and I was very, very loud. I was so weak, and I was so frustrated, and it hurt so bad. That’s right. I got some stuff done but not very much. They were finished and they left but they kept telling me “Good job” and I kept apologizing for the grunting and the screaming and everything that I was doing, and they said, “it’s okay” and I didn’t think it was okay. It’s like not for me. But anyways very next day they came back again, I was not expecting it. Was it not in a good mood. And I pretty much shewd them away, even told the nurses no. He told me it was going to be every other day and I’m not doing it today. The nurse said, “I heard him”, He said it would be every day and I know that was a fucking lie. I know that was a lie. Because did he never said that!
The nurse left and got the doctor, Dr. Sanchez. Ee came in and he was having a little conniption fit about me not doing the physical therapy and at the end he just screamed at me saying “This is on you!”, “This is on you!”. I said ok, I agree, It’s on me. I told everyone to come back tomorrow, and I’ll be ready, and he left. I never saw that fucking doctor again. Never came to my room again. But the next day physical therapy showed up and I was ready for them.
I was ready, they wanted me to get up and dangle my legs. in my mind’s eye, I learned this a long time ago that whatever you can imagine in your brain doing and completing a task in doing. Your brain does not know the difference between you imagining you doing it and you physically actually doing it. Now your muscles know the difference. You can imagine all you want but your muscles will stay weak. But your brain doesn’t know the difference. The next day when the physical therapist showed up, I was ready for them.
As soon as they said you want dangle your legs, I said let’s go for it. I had already done this hundreds of times in my mind literally probably hundreds of times when they got there. I did what I did in my brain. I kind of swung my legs up, moved them over. Sat up I use my momentum to help me sit up. I sat up and dangled my legs and it felt really good to do that. I was very proud of myself. Carrie showed up later on. I told her everything that had happened the day before and what I did that day. Carrie came every day except for maybe one when she was very tired.
I did that dangling and I was very proud, very happy. I told the physical therapist, “I told you I’d be ready today.”. she said yes, you did you did tell us that. I was a great day but I had a long way to go.